i have been dating this man for seven months now and known him for a year. he has bipolar and shortly after getting together he quit taking the medicine because it was interfering with our sex life. i told him it was ok but he decided to quit the medicine anyways. since then he has changed from the man i love to the man i fear to talk to. i love him with all my heart and i wanna be with him forever. i am pregnant with his kid but he seems to always be mad at me for llittle thinks that i dont understand. he now runs to other women for comfort instead of me becuase he thinks i m against him when i m not. i feel like its all my fault that he stopped taking the medicine and i feel like i have lost him for good. he stayed the night with another women last night. i wanna continue fighting becuz im inlove him. he is my everything . he used to be so sweet charming loving caring supportive but now he never has to time to here what i have to say he is hurting me terribly and he is to angry to see or care. i dont no what to do. i dont wanna loose him but at the same time i am laying in our bed alone. have i already lost him .is it to late to continue fighting
I’m sorry my darling, no more letters for me, but please I implore you to write your own letters and submit them if you wish. I’d very much like to hear what you have to say..
Conflicts of Interest
I adored you on sight. The first time your lips touched mine my knees buckled and my heart banged out an 808 beat that reverberated through the heavens for the first and last time.
I remember the time I cried and you cried with me, with your body and the sky cried the night we met I guess it knew we were so beautiful and so naive and so perfect and too good to be true. The water stole me from you. In the thundering rain, you offered me the world with all it’s dirt and glory. But I never wanted any part of it’s cities and people and rust. So you can keep Venice, and it’s swaying waterways tempting the sea to reclaim it at any moment. You can keep DC doped up skateboarders skidding through the streets screaming, “Screw the police! And screw our parents too for never paying attention to us!” And you can keep your islands with their livid blue oceans and mango trees…because all I ever wanted was you.
And once more the sky is crying. She is pouring her soul out, her thunder emphasizing our words, her lightening flashing, illuminating the lies so we know the difference between intents and accidents and I guess this is the right time to tell you I accidentally broke your heart. This is not to say I never loved you, I did. I was drenched in you, soaking and shivering in your love making my heart leap because you had the audacity to stand with me in the tempest. I wanted to pour and have you feel the heaviness of my love so I wept often but tears are a poor substitution for precipitation. We were failed from the start. The droplets caught in our eyelashes, stung our pupils, washed away my mascara so my eyelids wouldn’t bulldoze the life out of you when I opened my umbrella and chose a blue sky over you.
I won’t be writing any more letters, but I will be writing more in general here. Sit tight lovely, there’s more to come.
I haven’t written any flowery, whimsical shit about you lately.
But I can feel it taking root in my soul or spirit or heart or whatever part of me it is that swells and swoons whenever I think of you or speak to you. Roots - they grow down deep into the earth and soak up everything good that surrounds them. What a metaphor, right? The thought of you reaches into the dark places in me and soaks up all the good things, then brings them to the surface as something unapologetically beautiful.
I love who I am when I’m near you.
Baby, this is all for you. There are thousands and thousands of words in these letters and every single one of them belongs to you. I thought that if I could form the perfect letter, the perfect paragraph or sentence I would be able to convey to you just how much I adore you. But in the hundreds of thousands of words I still haven’t done that. I still don’t know how to craft the perfect sentence structure and choose the perfect diction and word order to adequately express how much you mean to me, how much I need you, how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I’ve been over-thinking it. Maybe the perfect sentence has already been formed. Maybe the only way to sum it all up is in three words; eight letters.
I love you.
One More Thing
This is one of my favorite projects I’ve ever done. These one hundred letters are very near and dear to my heart. That being said, I want to inhabit this blog once more. This started out as a way to express my love for him, well now it will be away to express my love in general. And I want you all to help. So submit your poems, your letters, your questions, your thoughts, your words. Submit them all, and I’ll do the same. Tell me your love stories…
(Ariel I know you’re lurking somewhere in cyberspace so this goes to you too. Submit your love stories, I know you’ve got them. Haha.)
The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired by one specific person. It’s the only emotion that can make a person act altruistically.
Thank you darling. I’m flattered. Unfortunately he and I are not together anymore but we are still friends. I do still love him dearly but it was just time for the both of us to move on. Yes, I wrote the 100th letter. I just chose to give it to him in person.